The Ebb & Flow of Community

Community: this word is thrown around a lot in the yoga world. Teachers, myself included, talk a lot about community and the connection created through the shared practice. Whether through work, service, yoga, another hobby or passion, most of us have been a part of “community” at one point or another in our lives.

When I say community, I’m talking about being a part of something bigger than “I” – the feeling of connection to other living beings. That connection ebbs and flows – at least for me. There are times when I’ve felt truly connected and times I’ve felt disconnected to and from my communities – whether it’s my family, friend groups, or yoga circle. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the why or the reasons behind communities and relationships growing or fading. Likewise, what makes connections strengthen or diminish?

From my own experiences, what I’ve realized is pretty simple (but I think it’s worth sharing given the current times we’re living in): Community and Connection are always available to us if we choose to engage and participate. Novel right? It seems so obvious…but I’ve felt it’s almost been forgotten, or overlooked, until we recently lost the gift to connect in person.

Now we’ve shifted to basically only virtual interaction and it’s up to each of us to decide whom we want to engage with, when and how. To be honest, it’s been a bit challenging for me as someone who wants to do it all. With what seems like a newfound access to a myriad of old and new communities via social media – women empowerment circles, various support groups, live yoga, meditation classes and online retreats, there are endless ways to engage and participate. And most of us are trying to keep up with family and friends via FaceTime and Zoom. I’ve been a big fan of virtual happy hours and book club. Of course, teaching my Sunday yoga class is the highlight of my week.

While it can feel like virtual overload with all of the options, I see it as opportunity to get to the heart of genuine connection and what each of us truly needs right here and right now. It’s an opportunity to take an honest look at our relationships and communities. I’m sitting with what is truly important to me, what fills my cup, what I’ve taken for granted, and even, what I’ve outgrown, or who for that matter.

I’ve had to ask myself some tough questions. How much energy am I putting in vs. the other person(s)? Am I fully aligned with my community? Is this relationship helping me to grow or is it hindering my growth? Am I forcing it or does it come natural? It has been a strange time in quarantine but in my reflection of community and connection, I’m starting to see things clearly for the first time in months.

I’m becoming fully present to some of my patterns. It’s hard for me to say no; I don’t like letting people down – I’ve shown up too many times when it hasn’t filled my cup to engage or participate. It has taken away time and energy from the things I need to be present with and the people who deserve my presence. Conversely, I’m realizing what communities and people are a yes or a stand for me – who supports me wholeheartedly, who genuinely cares about my wellbeing and my growth.

While we have no idea how long we’ll be living in this virtual space, the lessons are just as applicable to “normal life” when it resumes. There will be an influx of invitations to events, classes, trainings, parties, dinner dates…the list goes on. Now is the perfect time to tune in and ask ourselves what we want to be a part of.